Why should I "un-gender" my language?

From the very beginning, many languages (particularly English) have used masculine nouns and pronouns to represent groups that definitely are not exclusively male. Even the Declaration of Independence uses the phrase “all men are created equal.” As a society, we interpret the word “men” in that context to refer to both men and women, and yet, the distinction is important to make for the sake of equity. How much sooner would women have been able to vote if the drafters of the Declaration stated from the beginning that “all people are created equal?” It has also become standard practice for most academic writing. Even the

APA, MLA and Chicago Manual have now been updated to use

gender neutral language. Un-gendering your language is also an

important step to building inclusive school environments for students

and families. Assuming that every student has a “mom and dad” has

long been viewed as problematic. Respecting that students come from

all kinds of families, gender neutral language helps everyone

feel included.

Okay, that makes sense, but how do I do that?

We get that this is not something you can change overnight. After all, for most people, this is a lifetime of habits and English classes to overcome. Like most things though, the thought really counts. Once you start trying to work on un-gendering your language, your students and families will see how much their comfort and inclusion means to you and this will help to build trust. If you mess up now and then, it’s ok! Just acknowledge it and move on. No one expects you to get it all right immediately.

What if I am not sure about someone's gender? How do I address them?

We get that this is not something you can change overnight. After all, for most people, this is a lifetime of habits and English classes to overcome. Like most things though, the thought really counts. Once you start trying to work on un-gendering your language, your students and families will see how much their comfort and inclusion means to you and this will help to build trust. If you mess up now and then, it’s ok! Just acknowledge it and move on. No one expects you to get it all right immediately.

Help me understand the pronoun thing! Isn't it bad grammer to use they/them?

Actually, it’s not bad grammar at all. The use of they as a pronoun means that it can substitute for any noun and still be correct. Just because our language provides gender specific pronouns does not mean that those are the only correct pronouns to use. For now, the most appropriate pronouns to use, when in doubt, are they, them or theirs. For example, the sentence “He was not in homeroom this morning.” can very easily become “They were not in homeroom this morning.”

While we’re talking about pronouns, why does everyone have to share their pronouns all the time now? I don’t feel like I should have to do that because I am not a member of the LGBTQ+ community.

It might seem like there isn’t a reason to share your pronouns if you are cis-gendered, however, sharing pronouns is a great way to demonstrate to students and families that you are a safe person who is willing to accept them for who they are. The reason that we encourage you to ask for other people’s pronouns and preferred names is also because this is a signal that you respect other people’s identities. The only guaranteed way to know you are addressing someone in the most respectful and affirming way is to ask them how they would like to be addressed.

Can you give me some specific examples of ways to un-gender my language?

Absolutely!

Instead of...

Try...

Girl or Boy

Man or Woman

Mom and/or Dad

Boyfriend or Girlfriend

Sister or Brother

Son or Daughter

Grandmother or Grandfather

Granddaughter or Grandson

Niece or Nephew

Mr. or Mrs.

Hero or Heroine

Freshman

Upperclassman

Human

Mankind

Young Person, Individual, Student

Person, Individual, Adult

Grownup(s), Parent(s), Adult(s)

Partner, Significant Other

Sibling

Child

Grandparent

Grandchild

Nibling, Chibling, or just "My sibling's child"

Mx. (pronounced "mix")

Heroix

First-year student, 9th grader

Upper Level Student

Person

People or Humankind